Eternal Lonliness: Jack In the Box

Manufactured: 5/16/67. I was the product of a destructive time, so I sat and watched the walls cave in until I was trapped inside it. I've never asked to be who I am but never thought I would hate it this much. The minutes and hours and days and months and years and decades that pass before anything really happens, so I just sit, sit there and watch the walls. There's nothing I can do really, and it's been so long that I've forgotten how the outside world looks like. The glorious days of my youth are long behind me. The playful years of my past. Now only the walls sit in front of me. It stares right through me and occasionally gives me the smirk of a devil child. Have you seen a devil child before? I didn't think so.
Yeah I put on a smile and an occasional chuckle but does that mean that I'm happy or even content? Hell no, and don't listen if someone tells you otherwise. I'm a confused being underneath all the colorful exterior and the chimes of the wind up. And that really bothers me. No, not the wind up but the misinterpretation of my presentation. I look one way, yes, but does that make me so? A man in a gorilla suit, is he really a gorilla? No, he's just a man inside a gorilla suit.
So I pop my head out my box and give a good chuckle and laugh to amuse you but does anyone feel my pain? The reality of it is, my existence many times seem meaningless. Okay, enough with the pity, let's get down to business. I popped my head for the last time. I'm demanding that you cut my wires and release me from this spring attached to my bottom. I've got too much to see and not enough time on my expiration date. The expiration date is the date they'll put me to sleep and that's not enough time. I've mapped it all out, the shores and coastlines to the exotic destinations I've always wanted to see.

:(you said no): and that really hurts. The years I've been in here, only trying to please you and only you. So now I've got to sit, sit and stare at the walls again. Why can't you just let me go? It's lonely in here.

Eternal Lonliness: The Train Ride

I don't remember what made me get on this train. I think I was just lost, probably hoping to start something new. I approached the clerk and said, "one ticket to the farthest destination I can get to." Or at least that's what I think I said. But who really cares why someone sets off, its really how you get there that matters. Life is a distance between two points. Birth and death, how you draw that line is the crucial, most significant part, don't you agree. And now, I'm sitting on this nice velvet seat with my feet up on the seat in front of me and I'm just enjoying the ride. How long have I been on this train anyway? Oh, who really cares.

I was born to get away from it all. They only held you back, that's why I didn't tell anyone I was leaving. Actually, it was sparatic on my part. No planning had been done what so ever. That's why my last girlfriend had gotten rid of me. I told her I had quit my job and she went bonkers. I mean, literally, she started bouncing off the walls. She said something about me being "unreliable" and that I needed to "grow up." I showed her the middle finger and we parted ways. A very undramatic part may I add and if she hadn't thrown my things out of our 2nd floor apartment window like a stereotypical psycho bitch, it would have been almost forgettable. But I do remember and maybe it's partially why I'm on this train.

I'd decided once and for all to leave this miserable city I'd called home for 95 percent of my life. I was born in winnipeg and that's where I'd spent the other five percent. Just imagine yourself living in one single place your whole life. I can't. That's why I'm taking off. But maybe I should have said something to my mom before leaving. Well, there's no use wondering about it now. We weren't that close anyways. She was constantly bickering about my father who deceased when I was eleven. She had taken a liking to one of my high school teachers and I suppose I never forgave her for making me the end of so many cruel jokes. We never spoke much about anything. She was always working anyways. I guess this is a good time to explain why I had quit my job. It was the people I worked with. The most irritating individuals you will ever meet. This one girl, Julie, constantly crying over the phone. She might as well have the phone surgically attached to her ears and have the number 3 key speedial to produce tears. I would sit in front of my desk, simply tending to my work and sirens of cries would penetrate my thoughts. How many times I've fantasized about strangling that bitch: (17 times) including the one time at our christmas party.
Maybe I'm just not a people-person. I don't like them. Given, I am one but frankly, I don't like myself sometimes either. Okay, all the time. Is that why I'm on this train? All alone, talking to myself? How long have I been on this train for anyway?